Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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