i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize