i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize