She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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