Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize