My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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