it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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