Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize