he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
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genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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