Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong

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  (973): And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong http://tfl.nu/46jg
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.

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  (816): I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book. http://tfl.nu/rwum
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.

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  (702): Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter. http://tfl.nu/2ees
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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  (304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.

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  (307): Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor. http://tfl.nu/j4rc
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there

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  (215): i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there http://tfl.nu/r3g3
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  (516): View more from New York

  I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.

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  (516): I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great. http://tfl.nu/3h0i
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...

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  (605): Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming... http://tfl.nu/2o49
  Replies (21) Good night (1510) Bad night (2544) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything

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  (813): no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything http://tfl.nu/ryp8
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.

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  (303): Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious. http://tfl.nu/zbxr
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge

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  (703): I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge http://tfl.nu/z423
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  (914): View more from New York

  The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.

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  (914): The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes. http://tfl.nu/xsso
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.

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  (812): Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down. http://tfl.nu/9hkg
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

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  (908): I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years. http://tfl.nu/293u
  Replies (4) Good night (279) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt

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