So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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