So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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