girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize