i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
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Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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