i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize