Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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