I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize