i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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