You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize