marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize