My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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