Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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