toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
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I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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