that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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