THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize