Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
its liver damage thursday
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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