Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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