I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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