The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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