She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
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Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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