every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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