no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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