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I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
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