I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
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There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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