You're my little dorito
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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