I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize