i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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