Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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