He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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