Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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