matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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