sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My vagina just clenched in fear
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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