my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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