Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize