Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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