I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she told me i tasted like america
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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