apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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