IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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