You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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