how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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