That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish they made helmets for livers.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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